This animal body is on edge. This animal body wants to flee. Heart-exhausted. Tearful. Stuck.
My mood and energy are very low as we begin path today. During our check-in I talk about how disconnected and lonely I have been feeling at camp, how I don’t want to be here. We place our rocks down on the grass and then walk back to the track we were on yesterday. I feel unsure about being back out in public after my challenging day yesterday. It is Easter Sunday and the track is already busy with people.
We begin walking along the track and take turns choosing how to move. We start with slow, slow walking, like a glacier moving along the landscape. It’s playful and silly, and starts to feel really fun. Random members of the public are walking past us. Some are staring and some are looking determinedly away. We hear whispers about ‘magic mushrooms’. A young girl walks past me, then turns back to watch. I look right into her eye as I continue taking a big, slow step, and we smile at each other. She gets it.
We continue along the path crawling as tiny being, moving like vines, spreading out our wings. Then we re-group near a stream and begin a new exercise, of walking down to the valley with a question in mind. Opening to the wisdom of the land, using what we see as an oracle. I ask about my shadow and what I need to do next. I look for answers from plants. But the message starts to come from my animal body. From how joyful I am becoming, how freely I am moving. Our group is spread out and I can only see strangers around me, but it isn’t bothering me anymore.
Halfway down we gather on the side of the path and begin singing together “We are opening up in sweet surrender to the luminous love light of the world” (author unknown). It’s ridiculous and amazing. My talking self is amused but my animal body is elated, my heart glowing. I can sense this luminous love light all around me. I beam love to the people walking past.
As we continue descending, I begin dancing along the path. Feeling my magical child self emerging. We reach the bottom of the valley and suddenly we are standing before the most exquisite double waterfall. We gather for a quick snack then begin taking off layers of clothing. I dive into the pool of water and as I emerge, I start shrieking with laughter. It feels so glorious, such an unexpected miracle to be in this place. I swim to the bottom of the waterfall and stand under the streaming water. It falls with such force. I can’t stop laughing. I step behind the veil of water and stand with my hands to the sky. In worship and celebration. Feeling waves of pleasure.
I want to swim forever, but everyone else has gotten out and I know that we are already late for lunch. Emerging, I feel euphoric. My legs are shaking, not with cold but with a post-orgasmic sensation. We walk back up from the valley, asking for a message from the land for this group. Julie offers the beautiful idea that “We are the earth singing, we are the stars dancing”.
I am overflowing with joy and connection. It is amazing to feel so safe around strangers, to feel completely free and comfortable in my body. I am buzzing for the rest of the day.
This animal body is in rapturous bliss.
After the evening ritual, we have another short path session, an opportunity to experience this land at night. It is raining again. Jarrah reads us the myth of this land that was written for last year’s camp. Around us, frogs are calling out wop wop wop. It is a peaceful, gentle session.
This animal body is sleepy. Curled up on the land. Feeling solidarity with the wild-eyed beings around me.