Yesterday I met a spirit of this land. Tonight in ritual, as a group, we are to aspect (embody) those spirit beings. These are the directions given in ritual conspiracy and I plan on following them. The only problem is that something happened today carving out a seemingly divergent direction for me.
Earlier today there was an optional offering in which Kali revealed herself to me as the loving mother instead of fierce destroyer. This Kali had body shaped like mine, had hair like mine, and was fully black, a matte black, the color of shadow. The bodies of Kali and myself moved in sync. Our weight-shifts matched. Our looseness of limbs matched. We swayed together, the self I know in physical reality, and Kali, the loving shadow. “Dance with me,” she said. And so I did.
Tonight, instead of the lizard creature I met in yesterday’s ritual, I begin as something else, something that wants to lay on the ground, something that has an extra kind of gravity. I want to be still among other still beings. I imagine others in the group as plants and trees firmly rooted to this land. A handful of ritual participants are fluttering about the circle, jumping, running, flowing, squeaking, and chirping. I lay on the ground under a large stretchy shawl, moving limbs without exerting much energy. A chant is started and I feel pulled to my knees, hands on the floor before me, fingers spread, weight shifting side to side. Kali is here again. She is my mirror. Kali and I stay on our knees moving to the rhythm of the drum that gives shape to our magical container. Kali, a Hindu goddess, does not care that in tonight’s ritual, we are meant to be working with the spirit beings of this land, here in Mount Wolumbin, Australia.
“Dance with me,” she says as we rise to our feet together.
I open my eyes. There is more movement now than there was before gravity floored me. Spirit beings are churning up the energy of our circle. I lock eyes with another aspected spirit being. She is fierce. She replaces Kali as my mirror. With my eyes, I say to her, “Dance with me.” And she does.