Tag Archives: Faery

CloudCatcher 2016 Day 3 – Labyrinth Path

“We dance the labyrinth and the lands with Fae allies at our side, opening new paths, crossing edges that might have been closed before, and closing the doors that no longer serve us” (Day 3 Intent)

Today we had the opportunity to ‘Aspect’ our Fae ally and to be a ‘Tender’ to one of our peers when they did the same. Thibaut lead a detailed discussion on Aspecting and Tending before we began, and after ensuring that we had properly prepared ourselves, we paired off so each person could take a turns in either role.

Prior to Aspecting today, our group had altered the labyrinth path slightly so that we could walk through the ‘human’ gate, and out the Faery gate, into the lands of the Fae. The time spent walking through the labyrinth would be the time in which we were inviting our being to walk with us, in us, or around us.

I took on the role of tender first- My partner communicated to me that they would probably not need much assistance or guidance during their Aspecting; requesting for me just to witness, and carry their water bottle. They also suggested some personal topics to ask them questions about when grounding afterwards.

I hear a call, it comes from far away; I don’t know where it leads, behind the gates of night and day.. (chant)

Last night I had spoken to the ally I’d met first- a darker, more feminine being- and had planned to aspect them in my body, from my ribcage upwards. I was also to bring a red tie-on bracelet that I would put on during my time Aspecting, as a promise, sign, and reminder of the relationship I have and will continue, with both of the allies I spent time with in yesterday’s trance. I didn’t have a red bracelet at camp, so I had to create one this morning before path.

I readied the simple things that help me feel grounded daily, and the things I know have helped after previous experiences Aspecting. I let my tender know where I had my food, cigarettes, my beanie hat, and a water bottle- as well as my intentions for the ritual. When I began to walk the labyrinth, however, I could feel not just one, but both of my allies wanting to be with me. I decided I was okay with this, but renegotiated that my boundary would be that I would only aspect from my shoulders up (no arms).

My senses felt a lot sharper whilst Aspecting, but my eyesight seemed to slightly blur around the edges- like sharp, bright, tunnel vision. My Self felt somewhat disconnected, and the conversations I had with the two beings whirled around my head. I only Aspected for a short time- I know that for me personally, this practice takes quite a toll on my mind and body. I tied my bracelet onto my wrist, we had some laughs and giggles, and I gained some (more!) insights- particularly around things I can do to feel the Fae’s presence, and reminders of the things that kept me joyful in my formative years.

After ‘devoking’ them, I employed my grounding techniques with the support of my Tender, including things like using my name, patting down my body to feel my ‘edges’, and hugging. We then had the opportunity to get into small groups and discuss our experiences in both roles. I find it to be an honour to be a Tender to someone- feels quite intimate to be witnessing someone’s personal experience with a being that is not in this realm. Aspecting is a tool that I find extremely useful, but is also something that wears me out very easily, so I always try my best to keep my time purposeful with intent, so that the experience is fruitful and positive.

Cloudcatcher 2016 Evening Ritual 2

“With love as our magic, we embrace desire and pleasure and accept the consequences.”

The Faerie Queen. I could feel her longing gaze slowly devouring me. She smelled of the sweetest honeysuckle. Her cool breath crawling across my back sent chills down my spine and raised the hairs on my neck. She wanted to take me, ride through me, and fill me. I wanted her essence in me. I could feel her coming down from the forest peaks of the mountain. She came to me wild, untamed, and running free. Chaos. She was chaos to all the organized-ness of my life. And I was meant to convey her essence in my outer energy bodies until her priestess was ready to receive her fully.

As I called her from the high places, the low places, and the between places she coiled out from around me and into her ritualist, Suzanne Sterling. Deep in aspect, the Faery Queen moved through the ritual like a fierce living star that had risen from deep inside the Earth. And I, her tender, was pulled into the wake of her gravitational pull. I heard her speak at first in chittering Faerie speak. Slowly I began to understand her words. Whether she had learned to speak the human tongue through her priestess or whether I had begun to understand Faerie, I’ll never know. She whirled through the center of the ritual with a demand that everyone dance. “Don’t look at me…I am invisible”, she laughed sardonically. “ Look within yourself for what you desire ”, she called out as ritual participants reeled around the space in ecstatic dance.

They paused there merry making only briefly so as to hear the stories of the Queen’s pleasure and of Janet’s and Tam Lin’s. My queen would not have them resting long. For she wailed in a way that brings even the most sullen of beasts into a frenzied pleasure. And her wails whipped and rippled through the crowd and caused them to link hands and storm like a hurricane. I greedily watched on as they moved their bodies at great speed in a synchronized chaos of desire. I pined for them as the humans sought pleasure amongst each other and their lovers of the Fey Host. I, the Queen’s emissary, knight, and tender was committed to her… alone.

I felt not quite Fey and not quite human. For in those moments, I straddled both worlds and both peoples but I could not partake fully in their experience. I thought, “This must be how the Fey feel when we ignore their overtures for allyship.” I carried the Fey feelings of lust for the world of humans. It was a lust to dance with them to touch them, to delight in them. And now, in my desire for them, I was caught behind the veil longing to be with them. Longing for them to seek me out. Longing for the connection. I recognized this feeling of being emotionally lonely as the feeling that comes with being a priest-ess.

I have inherited the story that to answer the call to be a priest-ess is to walk a lonely path even when one is surrounded by lovers and loved ones. And somewhere along in my human life, I bought into it. I agreed to be Tam Lin: the consort and the sacrifice. But my truth is that my commitment to tend the Faery Queen or to tend my deities, ancestors, and spirits of the land is made from love, desire, and pleasure. I am only alone if I allow that old story to persist.

Somewhere beyond the essence of the Faery Queen, I could feel the human Suzanne. She and I were here together and priest-essing for the Fey Host. So, I chose to feel into my connection with this Fey-like human priestess. I chose to be part human and part fey with Suzanne. I chose to take deep pleasure in the hosts of humans and Fey beside us. And by remembering that she and I were in this together, my experience changed. As my perception changed, the old story of loneliness began to unravel and disintegrate. In turn, the Faery Queen drew Suzanne and me out into the fields beneath the full moon and far away from the passionate crowd. And as the Queen danced through the fields in her borrowed human body so too did I dance with her and Suzanne. The three of us were there but the veils between us were not.